The Ultimate Guide to Becoming Super Parents
Are you
a parent who often finds themselves juggling a multitude of responsibilities,
trying to navigate the perplexing maze of raising happy and successful
children? Do you sometimes wish for a superpower that could help you become the
ultimate super parent? Well, look no further because this blog, "The
Ultimate Cheat Sheet to Becoming Super Parents," is here to save the day!
In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the pain points that many parents
face on a daily basis. From managing time and energy, to dealing with tantrums
and setting boundaries, we will delve deep into the challenges that come with
parenthood. But fear not, because we are armed with a wealth of strategies,
tips, and advice to help you overcome these obstacles and become the super
parents you aspire to be. Join us as we dive into topics such as effective
communication, positive discipline techniques, fostering emotional
intelligence, and nurturing self-esteem. Get ready to unleash your superpowers
and create a thriving environment for your children to flourish. So, let's
embark on this extraordinary journey together and unlock the secrets to
becoming the superhero parents your family deserves.
Duties of parents towards children
Allah Ta'ala has made human life balanced and attractive through procreation. The person who has no children realizes the great blessing of having children in family life. A great responsibility has been entrusted to those whom Allah Rabbul Alamin has blessed with children. The biggest failure for parents is if they fail to raise their children in an exemplary manner. Because in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah Radiyallahu Anhu,
Every newborn is born on his natural religion Islam. Then his parents raised him as a Jew, a Nasara or a worshiper of fire [Sahih Bukhari: 1358].
As our social system is moving day by day towards bad culture, immorality and character destruction, we must take the responsibilities we have on our children very seriously. One of the demands of faith is to bring up children in the way prescribed by Allah and His Messenger. The rights that children have over us are discussed here:
1. Giving adhan in the ear: After the birth of the child, clean it with a bath and give the adhan in the right ear, whether it is a boy or a girl. It is an important duty on the parents to convey to the ears of the child first the voice of God's excellence and that the devil may not harm him. In the hadith,
عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ بْنِ أَبِي رَافِعٍ ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ ، قَالَ : رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم «أَذَّنَ فِي أُذُنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ حِينَ وَلَدَتْهُ فَاطِمَةُ بِالصَّلاَةِ».
On the authority of Abu Rafi, may God be pleased with him, who said, I saw the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, give the call to prayer in the ears of Hasan Ibn Ali [Sunan Abu Dawud: 5105]
2. Keeping a beautiful name: Choosing a beautiful name for a child is one of the responsibilities and duties of parents. Meaningful name is the beauty of name. Because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that he had changed many ugly names. [Abu Dawud 4952-4961]
3. Aqeeqah: One of the aspects of Islamic culture is the aqeeqah of children. Sacrifice 2 goats from the son and 1 goat from the daughter in the name of Allah. In the hadith,
عَنْ سَمُرَةَ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «كُلُّ غُلَامٍ رَهِينَةٌ بِعَقِيقَتِهِ تُذْبَحُ عَنْهُ يَوْمَ السَّابِعِ وَيُحْلَقُ رَأْسُهُ»
On the authority of Samura Radiyallahu Anhu, he said, The Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, All newborns are bound by his aqeeqah. On the seventh day of birth, sacrifice will be performed on his behalf. On that day he will be named. And the hair of his head will be shaved. [Sunan Abu Dawud: 2838]
4. Giving Sadaqah: Whether boy or girl, it is Sunnah to cut hair on the seventh day and give Sadaqah equal to the amount of hair.
Narrated by Ali Radiyallahu Anhu, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Hasan RA. On its behalf, 1 goat gave aqeeqah and said, O Fatimah! Shave his head and give the amount of silver in charity. [Sunan at-Tirmidhi: 1519]
Besides, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to give dates to children and pray for blessings. [Sahih Bukhari: 3909; Muslim: 2146]
5. Circumcision: Circumcision of boys is one of the Sunnah. In the hadith,
عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ : «عَقَّ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنِ الْحَسَنِ وَالْحُسَيْنِ وَخَتَنَهُمَا لِسَبْعَةِ أَيَّامٍ».
On the authority of Jabir Radiyallahu Anhu, the Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, performed Aqiqah and circumcision on the seventh day of Hasan and Husain Radiyallahu Anhuma. [Al-Mu'zamul Awasat: 6708]
6. Teaching Tawheed: Children should be taught the Tawheed of Allah from the time they start talking. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him:
«يَا غُلَامُ إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ، احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ، احْفَظِ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ، إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللَّهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الأُمَّةَ لَوْ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوكَ إِلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَكَ، وَلَوْ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوكَ إِلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ، رُفِعَتِ الأَقْلَامُ وَجَفَّتْ الصُّحُفُ»
O child! I want to teach you a few sentences. You will protect the rights of Allah, and Allah will protect you. You will protect the rights of Allah, you will always find Him in front. When you want something, ask Allah. And when you ask for help, ask Allah. And know! If the whole nation unites to do you any good, it will not be able to do you any good, except what Allah has prescribed for you. And if the whole nation unites to harm you, it will not be able to harm you, except what Allah has written for you. The pen is finished and the paper is dry. [Tirmidhi: 2516]
7. Teaching the Quran: The child should be taught the Quran from an early age. Because learning Quran is obligatory. On the authority of Ali Radiyallahu Anhu, he said, Teach your children three things. It includes teaching them Quran recitation and knowledge of Quran. [Jamiul Kabir]
There is no better work than teaching Quran. On the authority of Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:
«خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ تَعَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ وَعَلَّمَهُ»
"The best of you is the one who learns the Qur'an himself and teaches others." [Sahih Bukhari: 5027]
8. Teaching Salat and getting used to performing Salat: It is an important right for parents to teach their children Salat and make them accustomed to performing Salat. In the hadith,
عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ شُعَيْبٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ جَدِّهِ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «مُرُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِينَ وَاضْرِبُوهُمْ عَلَيْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرٍ وَفَرِّقُوا بَيْنَهُمْ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ»
Amr Ibn Shuaib Radiyallahu Anhu, his father, narrated from his grandfather, that the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, Command your children to pray at the age of seven. And at the age of ten, gently beat for prayer and vary the sleeping position. [Sunan Abu Dawud: 495]
9. Teaching Manners: It is the responsibility and duty of parents to teach their children manners. Luqman (peace be upon him) said to his son, 'And do not turn your face away from the people. And do not walk proudly on the ground; Surely Allah does not like a boastful, arrogant person. And be moderate in your ways, lower your voice; Indeed, the worst noise is that of a donkey.' [Surah Luqman 18,19]
10. Giving affection and love: Children should be cherished and loved sincerely.
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, he said, The Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, kissed Hasan Ibn Ali, may God bless him and grant him peace, and embraced him. Aqra Ibn Habis Radiyallahu Anhu was also present at that time. He started saying, I have ten children but I have never loved my children. The Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, looked at him and said, "Whoever does not show mercy to others, God does not show mercy to him." [Sahih Bukhari: 5997]
11. Teaching religious knowledge: It is obligatory to teach children religious knowledge. Because if he does not know religious knowledge, he will be misguided and among the losers. It is mentioned in the hadith-
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى الله عَليْهِ وسَلَّمَ : «طَلَبُ الْعِلْمِ فَرِيضَةٌ عَلَى كُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ»
On the authority of Anas bin Malik Radiyallahu Anhu, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, It is obligatory upon every Muslim to acquire knowledge. [Sunan Ibn Majah: 224]
12. Bringing Up to Adulthood : Children have to be brought up to adulthood and have to bear the necessary expenses for them.
عَنْ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَلْ لِي مِنْ أَجْرٍ فِي بَنِي أَبِي سَلَمَةَ أَنْ أُنْفِقَ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَسْتُ بِتَارِكَتِهِمْ هَكَذَا وَهَكَذَا إِنَّمَا هُمْ بَنِيَّ قَالَ: «نَعَمْ لَكِ أَجْرُ مَا أَنْفَقْتِ عَلَيْهِمْ»
On the authority of Umm Salamah Radiyallahu Anha, she said, I asked the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, if I spend for the children of Abu Salama, is there any reward for me? The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, Yes, as long as you spend, you will be rewarded. [Sahih Bukhari: 5369]
13. Empowerment: Empowering children in such a way that they can acquire earning skills. On the authority of Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, he said: The Prophet, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, said to me:
«إِنَّكَ أَنْ تَدَعَ وَرَثَتَكَ أَغْنِيَاءَ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَنْ تَدَعَهُمْ عَالَةً يَتَكَفَّفُونَ النَّاسَ فِي أَيْدِيهِمْ»
It is better to leave your children strong and resilient than to leave them needy and helpless. [Sahih Bukhari:1295]
14. Marriage: Marriage according to the Sunnah and performing all the functions of marriage and arranging the marriage at the appropriate time. On the authority of Abu Huraira, may God be pleased with him, it was narrated that the father has the right of the child, and when the child reaches adulthood, he will give him in marriage. [Jamiul Kabir]
15. Guiding in the path of religion: One of the responsibilities of parents is to guide their children in the path of religion, in the path of Quran and Sunnah, to make them accustomed to obeying the rules of religion. In the Quran,
﴿قُلۡ هَٰذِهِۦ سَبِيلِيٓ أَدۡعُوٓاْ إِلَى ٱللَّهِۚ عَلَىٰ بَصِيرَةٍ أَنَا۠ وَمَنِ ٱتَّبَعَنِيۖ وَسُبۡحَٰنَ ٱللَّهِ وَمَآ أَنَا۠ مِنَ ٱلۡمُشۡرِكِينَ ١٠٨﴾ [يوسف:108]
Say, 'This is my way. I call to Allah knowingly and so do those who follow me. And Allah is holy, great, and I am not of the polytheists. [Surah Yusuf: 108]
There is a great opportunity to gain reward by guiding the child to the path of religion. It is reported in the hadith that the Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to Ali, may God be pleased with him:
«فَوَاللَّهِ لَأَنْ يُهْدَى بِكَ رَجُلٌ وَاحِدٌ خَيْرٌ لَكَ مِنْ حُمْرِ النَّعَمِ»
If even one person is guided through you, it will be better for you than the most precious red camel. [Sahih Bukhari]
16. Justice between children: Children expect justice from their parents and justice between them is an important issue.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, specifically warned about this and said, "Fear Allah and do justice between your children." [Sahih Bukhari: 2587]
17. Refraining from actions that Islam does not approve: It is these children who will stand against their parents on the Day of Judgment if they are not restrained from actions that Islam does not approve. In the Quran,
﴿ يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارٗا ﴾ [التحريم:6]
And the disbelievers will say, 'Our Lord, show us those who have led us astray among the jinn and mankind. We will put them both under our feet, that they may be among the lowly. [Surah Ha-Meem As-Sijdah-29]
18. Refrain from immorality, obscenity, lasciviousness, immorality: As soon as the child enters the world, Satan follows him and conspires to lead him to Hell in different ways, in different forms, in different fashions, in different designs, in the name of different teachings. So parents must be alert and vigilant about this. Allah says,
﴿ يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ إِنَّ مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِكُمۡ وَأَوۡلَٰدِكُمۡ عَدُوّٗا لَّكُمۡ فَٱحۡذَرُوهُمۡۚ وَإِن تَعۡفُواْ وَتَصۡفَحُواْ وَتَغۡفِرُواْ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٞ رَّحِيمٌ ١٤ ﴾ [التغابن:14]
O believers, some of your spouses and children are your enemies. So be careful about them. And if you forgive, avoid and forgive, then surely Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Surah Taghabun-14]
In the hadith,
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا ، قَالَ : «لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الْمُتَشَبِّهِينَ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ بِالنِّسَاءِ وَالْمُتَشَبِّهَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ بِالرِّجَالِ»
Narrated by Ibn Abbas Radiyallahu Anhu: The Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, cursed a woman who wears a man's dress and a man who wears a woman's dress. [Sahih Bukhari:5885]
On the authority of Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, the Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, said:
عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم « مَنْ تَشَبَّهَ بِقَوْمٍ فَهُوَ مِنْهُمْ ».
"A person who looks like another nation will be considered as belonging to them. [Sunan Abu Dawud:4031]
19. Dua: We should pray for our children. Allah Ta'ala has taught us to pray like this,
﴿ وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٖ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا ٧٤ ﴾ [الفرقان: 74]
The righteous servants of Allah are those who say, Our Lord, grant us wives and children who will cool our eyes. And make us leaders of the Muttakis. [Surah Al-Furqan-74]
Zakariya (peace be upon him) prayed to Allah,
﴿ هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَكَرِيَّا رَبَّهُۥۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبۡ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةٗ طَيِّبَةًۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ ٣٨ ﴾ [ آل عمران:38]
O my Lord, grant me a good child from You. Surely You are the Hearer of prayer. [Surah Ale Imran 38]
Respected parents, have we been able to fulfill the rights of children? Let us raise our children as good children. About which there is a hadith,
عَنْ أَبِى هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- قَالَ « إِذَا مَاتَ الإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلاَّ مِنْ ثَلاَثَةٍ إِلاَّ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ»
On the authority of Abu Huraira Radiyallahu Anhu, the Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, When a person dies, all his deeds cease, but 3 deeds do not cease-
1. Zarya in charity
2. Knowledge that can be benefited from
3. Such a righteous child - who prays for him [Sahih Muslim:1631]
May Allah accept our children.
Allow them to fulfill their rights properly. Amen!
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